I've come to terms with the fact that I'm broken. Not in a sad way but in an it-is-what-it-is kind of way.
Life happened and I've adjusted accordingly. We're all a little bit shattered. Pain and heartache comes our way and with time we develop patterns that we think will protect us... but that only keep us in fear.
There are traits in me that aren't necessarily a part of who I am, but that surface as a result of what I've seen in this lifetime. For instance: I have a huge fear of abandonment. Since my parent's separation when I was two, my stepfather's death when I was four, every divorce, trauma and death I've experienced since...sometimes makes me act a bit strange in relationships.
I have to be continuously mindful of what's real and what's fear.
I'm scared of being left out. I'm controlling - I want things to happen my way, and I often assume things are going to go wrong if I'm not in charge. I micromanage everything. I expect people to fail me, or disappoint me, or leave me... so they often do.
It's instilled in me since I was a little girl that "If I don't do it on my own, we're not going to survive" and I can be assertive to the point of coming off as bitchy. I don't trust easily, and I don't give second chances. I'm messy. I'm emotional. I love hard and get upset about little things. I take everything personally. I want to fix everyone, even if they're not broken. I want the world to be whole because that means I am.
So much of how I feel and act is connected to the past. Part of my journey is figuring out what is truly a part of me, what brings my light out into the world, and what's baggage masquerading as personality. What's action, and what's reaction? Am I moving with love or with fear?
The only way to make peace with who you are is to make peace with your past.
Explore your childhood. Your history. It brought you here and it made you who you are; but is this you at your fullest potential? Do you see love in everything? Is this your purpose?
Ask questions. Notice the signs. Peel some layers off. Keep looking for love and when you're ready it will show itself as everything you already are.
In my experience in dealing with pain and emotional trauma, I’ve learned some of the most beautiful lessons in life.
All of the big lessons I've learned, the wisdom I've acquired...in writing them down, I've noticed something beautiful.
All of the most important things I've ever learned have come from some extremely difficult times. I didn't know it at the time. It's always hard to see the purpose when we're in the deepest, darkest corner of the pain.
But it's there. Know that there is a reason to why we're here, even when things get hard. It's comforting to me right now as I am moving through some of the most heartbreaking, but also beautiful moments of my life. My best friend passed away. There is love in everything. There is a purpose in everything.
So without further ado...from me to you:
Life Lessons Worth Sharing
You get what you need, not what you want.
The universe will never give you anything you can’t handle.
There is so much love within every single one of us, it’s difficult to grasp. So much love. Love is always here. It can never be lost.
Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Risk getting your heart broken. It’s worth it.
The earth is part of us, as much as we are a part of it. Caring for nature means caring for ourselves.
Move past your fears. They are here for you to learn. Let go, and only love remains.
Who do you need to forgive? Know that no one suffers from holding on to past pain but you. Forgive everyone for everything. For your own sake.
Do no harm. But take no shit!
Be truthful. Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth. To yourself. To you loves ones. To the world.
Miracles happen every day. Keep your eyes and your heart open, and you'll see.
You create the world you live in. The people we encounter on our path are there not by chance, but because we brought them to life. The experiences we have and the situations we face are here because we each made it so.
You are a powerful being with the possibility to manifest anything you like, but most of us do this unconsciously.
Depending on what you focus your thoughts and our energy on, your life situation will change—for better or for worse. What does your life look like right now? Are you at peace and content with where you are? Are you manifesting a life of love? Or are you manifesting a life of fear?
By becoming aware of our thoughts and realizing the power we have over a life situation, we can start to manifest good instead of bad.
Focus on what you want to create instead of what you lack.
It’s very logical—by thinking negative thoughts (I am not good enough/I don’t have enough/I am unhappy) we will have a negative outlook on life, thus attracting more negative experiences into your space.
It’s a vicious cycle, and we all need to stop it right away.
Begin from where you are. There is beauty in life. Connect to it. Be positive and grateful for the blessings you have. Be here. Don’t dwell in the past. Stop thinking in terms of “should have” “could have” or “it would have been better if.”
You are where you are! You cannot change what was in the past. Why focus on something you cannot possibly do anything about?
What you can do, however, is change your present.
It’s here, where you are.
This is it.
Life is now.
Change your life situation by being compassionate, by staying positive, by forgiving, by focusing on love and light and space and gratitude and abundance and happiness.
What you direct your energy towards, you attract more of.
Meditate on the magical, breathtaking beauty of the world and soon that magic will be part of your everyday life.
What are you manifesting today?