How to Release Frustration in a Healthy Way favorite_border

Yoga Girl Daily - January 28th 2020

Author: Rachel Brathen

Topics: Tune-In Tuesday, Healing

Links: Apple Podcasts / Spotify

About the Episode

Frustration is an absolutely normal emotion.

However, how we handle and release it is not always healthy. It is important to have space to vent or share how you are feeling or frustration can turn into bitterness and resentment.

What is frustrating you in your life right now? Can you recognize an area in your home or work life that is not going as smoothly as you would like? In today’s episode, we dive one step deeper. Tune in to find what lies beneath the frustration and how you can communicate your needs to live truthfully and authentically.


[00:52] Welcome to Yoga Girl Daily and happy Tuesday, you guys! It's Tune-In Tuesday today, so it's time for us to reflect on a specific topic, inquire a little bit within ourselves, and make our way to a deeper truth. I have a topic planned for today that I actually think is a really important one to do, maybe not every day, but a couple of times a week. And that is the topic of frustration. We all feel some level of frustration about things large or small in our day to day lives. And what I think is really important is that we have space to vent and share our frustrations before they turn into that overarching feeling of complaining. There's a difference between honestly and from the heart sharing things that challenge us, that we struggle with versus complaining about things in our day to day life.

[01:49] So making sure that you have time in your day to actually air your frustrations in a really healthy way. And that's something you can do by just inquiring about it to yourself, by journaling on it or by finding a friend to actually share out loud. So what is something that you know is frustrating you right now? Let's take a moment just to reflect on that for a second. If you want, you can close your eyes and let's take a really deep breath in and out. Something that frustrates me right now is… Take a moment, just to check in with every area of your life and notice what immediately comes to mind. Probably you have that one situation in your life right now that you're dealing with that just isn't going super smoothly. Maybe it's something relating to your partner or your spouse or a relationship, a friendship, perhaps something you have going on at work.

[02:48] Maybe something relating to parenting or to how you take care of yourself in your body. What's something, one area of your life, something that's frustrating you in this moment. And the moment you get your awareness to drop into that place, really acknowledge that, yeah, this is an area of my life that's really challenging right now. I am frustrated by this. You can maybe even feel that feeling of frustration in your body. It's like you have an itch that's really hard to get to. When I reflect on frustration in my life right now, immediately, and I almost feel embarrassed to share, but immediately my awareness goes to my husband and his unbelievable messes. He is the messiest person I know and yesterday getting in the car to go to take my daughter to gymnastics, trash fell out of the car as I was stepping in. And it feels like it's this small thing and I shouldn't complain about it because he does so many other things great.

[03:46] But man, I am really annoyed and frustrated with picking up after this mess all the time. I really feel like he's an adult. He should be able to clean up his own messes, but I am the one who has the kind of nag him to do it or do it myself. That's my frustration right now. So whatever frustration you've immediately brought your awareness to, don't feel like there's something that could be too small or it's insignificant. If it's frustrating you, it's frustrating you for a reason. Let's take a deep breath. Just acknowledging that frustration, whatever is there.

[04:22] Open the mouth and exhale. Now the interesting part about inquiring around frustration like this is going one step deeper. So in this thing that's frustrating you, this behavior or this relationship, whatever it is, what lies beneath that frustration? What is there around that behavior or around the situation that actually bothers you to the level that, man, it's hard for me to get over that. Where does the trigger come from? What is the underlying feeling that you're actually looking for, that you're wishing for something to be different? For me, for example, I mean obviously I can immediately sense my own need for peace and order in my life and whenever I have disorder or when something is this organized or dirty or messy, I immediately feel a little bit of stress. Like I have to, you know, dig in and clean something up or that I didn't really ever really have enough space to just sit back and relax in my life.

[05:22] Cause there's always something messy that needs fixing. So I have this wonderful reminder of, my husband who creates messes everywhere he goes, that not everything is my responsibility and not every mess is mine to clean up. But I can acknowledge that I am just looking for a sense of peace, for order for calm in my life. And when my outer life is in order and clean, I feel a bigger sense of calm inside of myself. So actually this frustration, it's not invalid, right? It's not weird. It's not like I'm complaining about things. It actually makes sense for me. Perhaps there is an actionable thing I can do with just figuring out that underneath that level of frustration is my core sense of just longing for peace in my life. And I know if I communicate that to my husband, it's much easier to nudge him a little bit to keeping a little bit more order in our lives because it comes from a place of love, of longing for peace versus from that place of complaint or nagging. So, figuring out that for yourself in your own life, what lies beneath that frustration? And perhaps just by acknowledging that, you'll see that there is a way to go about this situation in your life that comes from a place of truth where we don't have to complain or we don't have to have a fight where we can communicate our needs and ask for those needs to be met. Let's take another big breath in and out. Thank you so much for tuning in with me today. Yoga Girl Daily will be back tomorrow.

[End of Episode]