How To Be Free

“Follow” no one out of obligation. I mean on social media – or, in real life.

Wear what you want to wear. Do what makes you happy without harming others. Do what you say you’re going to do. Stop over-apologizing, but for the love of coffee, say you’re sorry if you hurt someone or did something that requires apologizing. Don’t apologize for who you are or for using your voice. Read what you want to read rather than what you think you should read. F*ck “should.” Be honest. Be kind. Don’t take advantage of other’s kindnesses. Make up your own rules. Don’t listen to the naysayers because there be a plenty. Don’t wallow in your own suckery. Do good things because you want to not so people will see just how very nice you are. Believe in yourself or don’t. But I would. I really would. Surround yourself with people who believe in you.

Don’t worry so much. It gives you warts. Okay, not really, but it does nothing good. Dance or bop your head or sing but do something, anything really, that puts rhythm in your body and reminds you: HEY! I’M ALIVE!! Don’t forget you are alive. You are not dead. Wake up. Forget guilt. Bury that crap in the yard or out at sea. It stinks.

Be the person you want to be when you think of the very best most fantastic lovely and amazing version of you – be that.

You already are, but maybe you forgot because you’ve been beaten down or taken advantage of or you’ve been scrolling on Instagram too much or swiping on tinder or whatever it is that made you forget how awesome you are. Don’t brush your hair, I don’t care. I still like you. Quit your job, I’m still your girl. Get a divorce, I’m still here. Feel like you want to die because you’re so depressed, I ain’t going nowhere. See – all the things that we think make us “not enough”- they don’t. Pretty much the only thing that makes you an asshole is when you’re an asshole. So don’t be an asshole. Wear what you want wear. Do what makes you happy without harming others. Go forth in this big bad world and be a forking superstar. I don’t know- I haven’t brushed my hair in a couple days. I am wearing what I want to wear. I just ate carrot cake, cheese and leftover Mexican food because I decided it would be delicious together even though it makes no sense. I follow whoever I want and I don’t play by any rules except my own Jen Pastiloff wacky non-rules rules. Because the truth is, nothing makes sense, really. We’ve got to make our own sense and rules and style and voices and then we’ve got to stand by that as if it’s the only thing that makes sense in the whole entire world. Be free.

Join me in Tampa Jan 12 or 13 to be free together.

What is my workshop, you might wonder? We explore what it means to be human. We Connect to our inner dork, quiet the inner a-hole, we do a little karaoke yoga, we (hopefully) become more fearless-ish, We Uncover the stories our bodies hold. We begin to Leave “the land of not enoughness.” We laugh a ton. We cry. We breathe. We write. We write beautiful sentences & some painful ones. We embrace imperfection & how messy life can be. We bear witness. We don’t look away. We connect. We wake up, live real & listen hard. (That’s the name of my book too: Pn Being Human: A Memoir of Waking Up, Living Real & Listening Hard. Anyway- it’s weird and magical. I made it up! I used to wait tables at the same cafe for almost 14 years & now I do.... this. This thing. This thing I made up. Isn’t that cool? Let’s all remember that we don’t have to exist inside a box. We can be the box.

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