[01:26] Rachel: Hi and welcome to another episode of From The Heart: Conversations With Yoga Girl. And I am sitting … sort of a surreal, weird, universal moment of my life right now. I am sitting on top of a penthouse overlooking the ocean and a pool with the intergalactic goddess herself, Ashley Albrand. Welcome to the show!
Ashley: Wow. [laugh] Hi, Rachel. My favorite person. [laugh]
Rachel: I don't know how to introduce you? Should I say, this, this, this? Like, no, that came out.
Ashley: No, this is absolutely magical. We barely made it, like, to get to this point today, and it feels like a magical carpet ride. But I feel super excited to sit in front of you anytime, ever. You’re my favorite. You’re my queen. I love you.
Rachel: You’re my queen! This is so funny! I love you!
Ashley: You’re my queen.
Rachel: I love how we, like, we admire each other.
Ashley: You teach me so much.
Rachel: I’m like, “I love Ashley.” And you’re like, “I love Rachel.” And then we see each other once every two years. [laugh]
Ashley: I know. I haven’t seen you since April of 2017, when we recorded the first time.
[02:35] Rachel: Crazy. So, for everyone listening, we have … actually, the podcast that we did was one of the, I think, the third or the fourth show ever, and it’s about overcoming adversity and living a life, or having overcome trauma, and it’s really highly listened. So your voice is, you know, people are ready to hear it, and just so excited that we’re able to do this again! So, a little background info for anyone who hasn’t listened to that episode, Ashley and I go way back. Someone asked me yesterday at the retreat, like, “So how did you and Ashley meet?” And I couldn’t answer!
Ashley: Yeah. I mean, I think social media is the first thing that brought us together, because you lived in Aruba and I lived in California. So social media brought us together. And we had similar yoga … baby yoga upbringings, in a lot of ways, I feel.
Ashley: And we connected really beautifully over … Well, you first jumped out at me in your social media, because it was kind of wild, and I was in a pregnancy phase where I was, like, thinking it was too wild. And so you taught me, because I was looking at what you were doing, and not necessarily vibing … I didn’t understand it. And then, like, maybe two years later I’m like, “Oh my god, she’s a genius.”
Ashley: [laugh] You just … you’ve just taught me so much. The long story short is you’re my bff.
Rachel: Aw, yeah!
Ashley: I joked you were my husband the other day and someone thought that was really weird, but, you know, I have multiple energies within me, and I connect with you in so many of them. But we met through social media, I would say. Yeah.
Rachel: Yeah, but it’s just I couldn’t remember … Like, I was trying to think back of the first time we met met, and I couldn’t remember. I have relationships like that where I look back and it’s like, “Oh, we just always kind of knew each other.”
Ashley: I remember the first time we actually met.
Rachel: Yeah? I couldn’t remember that.
Ashley: At a show … at a class you did in L.A., and I brought my bus and then I drove you back to your hotel in the bus, and we sat across from each other at the booth, and I felt like I was sitting across from, like, an ancient energy worker that I had been reconnected with in another lifetime. And we were going up this crazy hill in this bus, and it was just insane.
Rachel: I remember. And nothing was attached to the walls, like, you guys had just got the bus, and things were like flying all over the place.
Ashley: Yeah, and you for some reason said yes! I was like, “We’ll drive you home.”
Rachel: “Sweet! I’ll take the ride on the bus any day!”
Ashley: And we shared stories about, you know, yoga teachers that we had shared.
Rachel: Mmhm, oh yeah yeah yeah, I remember.
Ashley: Yeah, bonded over that, and then from there it’s just been … so many things.
Rachel: Yeah. So much has changed since then, I mean for both of us. Like, really really. I don't know, I feel like we both had a lot of trials since then, a lot of struggles since then, a lot of clarity since then.
Ashley: Definitely, definitely, definitely.
Rachel: Definitely. I feel like, for you especially, I was telling Dennis just yesterday, I was like, watching you in your family constellation, it’s epic.
Rachel: No, it is. You’re like a grandmother now. You have this, like, old wisdom that just comes … It’s like you know you’re supported now, where before you had to do everything yourself. And it’s changed everything. You can sense it in you from afar.
Ashley: Thank you. I have come far with my relationship with God, God, the Source, I am. And it used to be I felt the fear of what am I going to get? How am I going to get it? How am I going to get to A, from point A to point B, financially, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. And now I have really strengthened my relationship with Source to the point where I just know. Even if it’s one dollar I’m going to need, it’s going to happen. Even if it’s … it could be anything. But when we relax and trust and let go and honor the energies that are supporting us, and apparently we all have a legion of angels, so there’s so much energy holding us up, and anything that’s not that is in the mind. And fear. If we’re holding onto fear, or thinking about the fear of not having, it just keeps us in a vibrational pattern of not-
Rachel: Of not having.
Ashley: Yeah, kind of not having, but definitely struggling in the process. I think you still will always have … You can struggle against it and you’ll still have, or you can flow with it and you’ll still have. But we’re always going to be supported and provided for, and it’s waking up to that reality, that we are children of the earth and creatures of an infinite energy, and we are an extension of that energy, and we are that energy. And so even though there is horrible things happening in the world, and we are all waking up, once you awaken you actually do get to transcend some of the sufferings on this planet that we don’t get to transcend when we’re not awake, if that makes sense.
[07:13] Rachel: And you think that the struggles are a necessary part of that awakening? Can we awaken without the struggle?
Ashley: I don't know, I couldn’t. I was talking about this the other day, that it’s like sandpaper, you know? Just smooth and shine the diamond. You do need … we’re sleepy. We’re sleepy in our complacency. We’re sleepy in our … I call it the Lucid Dream. I taught a class at your retreat called, “Wake My Lucid Dream,” because we’re in this reality that’s multidimensional. It’s holographic, really. And it’s ancient. We’ve had it many lifetimes. So we’re remembering. Like the tattoo I got last night. This has already been on my body. It was revealed in this lifetime again. That’s how I could trust and know that it was going to go perfectly. I got a tap tattoo. I believe in the tap tattooing because it activates the energy center and the portal that … wherever you tap is where it opens.
Rachel: You know, my sister does that. I’m not into this. I mean, she’s in a different realm, for sure.
Ashley: But she’s doing her work with that? That is a medicine, it’s a grandmother medicine, and she’s doing that work even though she doesn’t look like a shaman or act like one, maybe, it is still very shamanic. She’s still a high priestess, holding that space for activation. And she’s your sister!
Rachel: I mean, she’s the most radical and, like, I don't know … herself person in the family, I think. I mean she’s … I look at her sometimes and I’m like, man, she’s in another dimension. Yeah, I don't know how to explain it. I feel like sometimes I have a hard time fully connected with her because I feel like she’s just up there. [laugh]
Ashley: Yeah. Or down, the shaman realm is like-
Rachel: No, both. She goes between those both.
Ashley: Yeah, the galaxies and the depths. Someone who is going to stab people repeatedly is going to be, you know, the poke tattoo artist sits and stabs. Can you imagine that meditation? I don’t want to do that work! And I’m telling you, it really does activate you. It opens up your energy center. It’s trippy!
[09:15] Rachel: Oh man. So hey, for someone who is listening who maybe doesn’t know you, can we rewind a little bit? Ashley Albrand, who are you? What do you do? Where did you come from? How did you get here?
Ashley: I am a priestess. I am a shamanic healer and tantric goddess. So, I have spent lifetimes dancing the dance. I’ve been told I am a royal queen, and I believe that all of the women that come in contact with me are also of that same royal bloodline. Like, it’s ancient. And here I am again, here to lead women towards self-love. And actually, to wake up. We’re here to wake up. We’re here to get activated and we’re here to remember the ways of our ancestors. And it’s through that remembrance that we’ll heal the earth. And it might take a few hundred years, it’s not all going to happen right away. But to trust and relax and have faith in the Source that is orchestrating all of this, and that there is a divine plan, that’s what I’m here to do. I’m here to communicate that. So who am I?
Rachel: What does that look like in a day-to-day?
Ashley: What does that look like? That looks like … for yoga practitioners, that might look my teacher training program, to come and get activated. For everyday life I definitely evolve through the family dynamic. I have definite karma there. Obviously, I’ve got four kids. So, my own patterns and my patterns with my family. And then I have an Instagram channel that I really do feel that the Instagram has been a huge part of why I’m here in this lifetime, is to help deliver the energy to the people in the ways that I am the channel for. And same with you. I really feel strongly that it’s not just social media. Because before I worked for others, and I had to go to many, many yoga studios just to make enough money to, you know, do anything at all.
[11:16] Rachel: So many people go through that though. I mean, it’s also … how do you encourage people that they come to your teacher training, they have their activation, they leave, they’re inspired. How do you encourage them to go out there and make a living doing this kind of work?
Ashley: To look around and see how much people need activation and that you don’t have to compete in yoga, that there is enough people in the world that need yoga. Like, we’ve talked about this before, and I know you’ve actually repeated this, so maybe that’s why it’s being repeated again, but that it’s team yoga, and it’s team consciousness, and it’s team spirit, and there’s more people than there is light workers. There’s more people needing activating than there is light workers trying to get the money. Does that make sense?
Rachel: Mmhm, mmhm.
Ashley: And I always ask Spirit, like, “Where is it going to come from? How am I going to do this?” And the Universe always answers back, “The Infinite Place.” The money, the people, the energy, all of it’s going to come from the Infinite Place, that is a place for everyone to pull from. There’s enough for everyone. So, to go out there and realize that you are an infinite creator, in this body now, it’s such a gift to be here and to have this body. Not only to love this body, but walk in a way that is … influential and don’t … try hard not to let other people take you down, because the darkness kind of seeks the light. So, yeah, that looks like trying to … also just trying to be mellow. I’m trying to be mellow, because I’ve had a lot of things in my life, and I’ve got a lot of fire, so I need to-
Rachel: Same, girl, same.
Ashley: Just trying to be mellow. As things happen, breathing through them and trying to hold the space in that way too.
Rachel: Hmm, that’s not easy, I mean.
Ashley: No, for anyone.
Rachel: Some people though.
Ashley: Some people are more chill.
Rachel: Both of our husbands, or both of our men are more chill, mellow.
Ashley: I mean, Ian’s got his-
Ashley: His fire side, yeah. He gets stressed out. But he really needs much more yoga than he’s getting. We just had the newborn twins, so …
[13:24] Rachel: Let’s talk about that! So, we got a lot of questions. You have a lot of people that follow you on social, and they also follow me, some of them, and they get really excited that we’re sitting here having this conversation.
Ashley: Yeah. Thank you everyone for loving us. We are so grateful!
Rachel: So grateful.
Rachel: And the most asked question, by far, so five and a half months ago you did not just have twins, but you had surprise twins. And not just surprise twins as in, like, “Oh my god, I didn’t know I had twins and then I found out I was going to have twins.” But you found out you were having twins as they came out of your vagina, yeah. Let’s talk about that because that’s the most epic thing ever.
Ashley: I called it the Birth Heard ‘Round the World. Because I got like, I mean, can you imagine a birth helping your social media? Thank you to all of the new followers because of the birth, and thank you to Empowered Birth Project for sharing my birth story. That was so sweet of you, and several others. Yeah, we had the twins at my house in Costa Rica in the bathtub, and because my second daughter was ten and a half pounds, and I was literally the size of a house, I just did not think that this was twins. Looking back, there’s definitely signs.
Rachel: Like what?
Ashley: Like, there’s be times when both babies were moving their limbs, and we’d be like, “What is that?! What is that? It’s head? I thought it’s head was down below!” He head was popping up, and I just thought maybe he had turned. Because I really thought I was having a boy. And the funny part is I grieved the girl. The whole pregnancy I felt like, “Why do I not only want a boy? Why? I’m going to have to have another baby.” I was like, “I’m planning my next child, and I really hope I can have a girl, because I was oddly grieving the girl.
Rachel: You wanted to have a girl.
Ashley: I wanted a girl. And I was like, “Why do I not accept my son?” It was a trip for me for several months. But it turns out it wasn’t that I didn’t accept my son, it was that I was needing to look deeper into that and-
Rachel: That there was one of each coming.
Ashley: There was one of each coming. And I literally looked over several times during the pregnancy and be like, “It’s not twins.” Like … people think it’s twins. People kept saying, “It’s twins, it’s twins.”
Rachel: You were annoyed by it.
Ashley: So annoyed.
Rachel: So annoyed.
Ashley: Because they did it to me with my second child too. Everywhere I went. And I think that literally set up this, because if I had thought it was going to be twins, because I was enormous. I was so big and so heavy. I was so embarrassed. I felt like-
Rachel: With Bhavani you mean?
Ashley: No, with the twins. With Bhavani I was just learning how to free birth. So at that point I was not taking in anything external.
[16:01] Rachel: Yeah. Maybe before you tell this story, can you share a little … because you have two girls.
Ashley: I have two daughters that are seven now and five-and-a-half, almost six. Not five-and-a-half. She’s almost six in April. And my first birth was a hospital birth because the home birth went awry. My midwife suggested I drink castor oil, and it sent me into sickness the whole day, and I was so dehydrated, I needed fluids, they couldn’t give me fluids because they claimed that my veins were not … were shrunk. They couldn’t get the needle in. So I just had to go to the hospital. And she just came out there, my first daughter. So this started me on a journey.
Rachel: And was that a negative birth? Did you have challenges with that?
Ashley: I mean, her head tore me open, so I was sewn closed with no anesthesia, which is a birth trauma. And it’s okay though. You know, we all have birth traumas, and we’re all healing from many lifetimes of trauma, ancestral trauma. So our family’s trauma is in our body. Our mother’s mother. All of it. It’s ancestral. It’s encoded in our DNA. We come into this lifetime with that trauma. So, for me that was really awakening in that there is trauma. Not everything is perfect. Yeah, you might have the perfect birth plan … and now even longer down the road I’ve realized that birth is so faded. A lot of things are so faded. And to go with the flow and to try to really go with the flow. So anyways, that birth was not my most amazing birth. And I wanted a better birth, and I didn’t want a better birth right away, but then I was pregnant nine months later. I heard, right when I took the test is, you know, you get to do this alone, the way you want to do it. And I’m actually much more like that. I’m kind of a hermit. I like to be alone. I process things emotionally when I’m alone. And I haven’t been alone in a really long time. I remember the day! Yeah, I’m not the type of woman who wants to birth with my legs spread wide. I’m more, like, going inward, like seed state. So that was another driving force was the humiliation of the first birth. It really felt like a humiliation to me, being flat on my back with my legs in stirrups, and I couldn’t get that thing off my stomach. They put the heart monitor thing around your stomach. I didn’t like it. They were taking my address while she was crowning. It was just multiple things that were weird. So, I do believe in hospital as help for things that are going wrong, but I don’t feel that it’s a natural or normal place to actually want to have a birth. We need birthing centers. We need women to be treated so tenderly and so amazing, and that’s not happening yet in birth consciousness.
So, the second pregnancy definitely … I was told in my third eye from an unknown voice, you know, “You get to do this alone, and you need to watch your intake of information externally.” And I had had this vision of wanting to just meditate for nine months. You know, birth my child in the woods. So I did! I didn’t have a single ultrasound, I didn’t go to a single doctor’s appointment, I just told the universe, “If something needs looked at, give me the intuitive guidance, that I need to go to the hospital, or …” You know, and I really prayed and prayed and prayed, and stayed in my meditation, but everybody kept saying, “It’s twins, it’s twins, it’s twins.” And I kept tuning in with my belly, and I didn’t feel that at all. So, when my one daughter came out, in my home-
Rachel: In the woods.
Ashley: In the woods. In a treehouse, actually. In a pool of water in my treehouse bedroom. It was just amazing. My birth was galactic. It was so incredible. The water broke, a white light like shot from my third eye to my yoni, the water broke. I would sit down and fall asleep in between contractions, and then stand up and circle my hips. There’s an amazing birth documentary called, “Birth as We Know It,” and you can get that on the Birth Into Being website. It’s like $20 to download. And it will teach you how to circle your hips for the contraction that they call … which I call the energy. To me the contraction is great spirit pummeling through your body to literally widen your bones. It’s to open you up so your baby can drop through. And it’s powerful and good. But when you fractal your hips, that’s the kundalini energy, you open your body up to the vortex of the fractal, which is happening at every level of … right? Every cell. Everything in nature. Everything. Every inanimate and every animate … is that how you say it?
Rachel: Inanimate and animate, yeah.
Ashley: Yeah … is fractalling at a cellular level. So when you tune into that, it helps you open up your cervix. It’s like the recipe. And for whatever reason it-
Rachel: I had some of that, like, really early in the birth I remember waking up, four in the morning, and it was starting and I knew, and my intuition was just to go down in the kitchen, and I lit all my candles, and I put on music, and I just did that, like, for hours. For a really long time, alone. Just moving my hips.
Rachel: Yeah, circling like the Sufi …
Ashley: The Sufi grind, exactly. So that’s-
Rachel: But then I got to the point where it was really hard to move. I don't know.
Ashley: Yeah. And first births are usually, like, the harder ones. So I feel, I strongly feel that if you had set the intention to birth again in a more private setting … but you had a great birth, actually. Your birth-
Rachel: No, really, in all truth yes. But I was looking back. I mean, we were the only ones at the hospital, we lit our sage and incense and candles in the hospital room. There was no one there, no, like … So it was, you know, the scenario I envisioned, but not at home.
Ashley: But just that’s not common though, the hospital setting like that, so-
[21:50] Rachel: No, I mean, we live in a place, we were the only birth in the hospital. I was just talking about this with a good friend of mine from Sweden who had one of those stories where it’s just so crowded, like, they put her in the coffee lounge area to labor, because there was no room for her and there was nowhere else to go and everything is booked up, booked up, booked up. And there were so many other women in the same kind of stages birthing at the same time. So she was ten centimeters and they come in and they say, “We have to give you an epidural to stop, because we can’t …”
Ashley: Okay, that’s abusive.
Rachel: Yeah. So they gave her an epidural, 20 hours later her baby was still not out and they ended up having this really … I was like, “How!?” You know, I didn’t want to say that, but in that stage it’s not like you can accept anything else. You’re so exhausted, so tired, you don’t know. You know, the doctor says, “This is it, you have to do this.” It’s like you’re in this very disempowered position. But she looks at it, she’s like, “No, it wasn’t terrible, because the baby came out fine, I’m fine, maybe these other women needed their attention way more.” But just the fact that there was another option, it was never really introduced. And I was like, “What if you were at home and you were at ten centimeters, and you had someone guide you. You would have had the baby then!”
Ashley: It would have come out! Yeah. We need way more options in birth is basically the-
Rachel: Options, options.
Ashley: We’re calling for options, Universe, and we’re calling for freedom and we’re calling for sovereignty is really what we’re-
Rachel: Yeah, sovereignty.
Ashley: We want to be sovereign. We want to be the leader of our own birth, and we want to choose things that are going to be in alignment with what we’re feeling. Because I don’t believe anyone outside of you can actually deliver your baby. It’s you. You’re the only one. And it’s actually not that far from the baby to the opening. So, I feel we’ve kind of tripped out a little it. We need to, like, go way back and release all of this, “It should be this, it should be that,” and just let spirit show us the way. Connecting to Spirit, though, is the first step. And so a lot of women don’t have that strong connection with great Spirit, which everything is going to be provided for you. And I do believe the births and the deaths are fated. It’s written in time. So there is no mistakes. People don’t accidentally die. I truly believe that. The soul departs … and this is what astrology teaches, and many of the healers and the mystics and the sages, they teach that when the soul departs this body, that is a fated moment, and that it’s … Anytime a relationship ends because of a death, that the two souls have a contract for the amount of time that they will be together in the flesh on this planet, and that that is absolutely written, so-
[24:26] Rachel: So it’s not like someone gets, you know, you say, “Oh, well he or she didn’t get enough time.” Like, that was the time.
Ashley: That was the time, and that was the time that they wanted, otherwise it would be different. The confirmation is that it’s happening. The confirmation is that’s the way it went. You can trust the way it’s going. More than we think. We need to relax and trust what is and the way it’s going.
[26:27] Ashley: So back to the birth real quick, Bhavani’s birth was so epic and so galactivated and so amazing and I birthed her within … it was like three hours and forty minutes. From 4 am, she was born at 7:42 am. And it was all by myself. I did that. I got in the pool and … you know. It’s amazing!
Rachel: And have you had negative, you know, if you talk about that people saying, “Oh, well …” Because whenever I share stories like that, like it was really important for me when I was pregnant to read those really empowering stories of women who did it their way, and not, you know, without fear. And I read so much of that. And then I would share some of those stories. “Oh, well you know I read about this woman and this woman [and your birth] and this and that,” and then sometimes people would say, “But that’s so irresponsible. What if something would happen and then you’re out in the woods and you’re not by the hospital.” What do you say to people who react that way?
Ashley: I say that they actually don’t have a connection to meditation and to truth consciousness, which is that Source energy is available to tap into, and it’s a muscle that you flex, and you learn it. And you have nine months to tune into not only Source’s wisdom and guidance, but your baby’s. Read The Golden Cradle. Read Spirit Babies, and recognize your baby is communicating with you at a soul level during the pregnancy. So you’re going to be supported. If you need to go to the hospital, for whatever reason, for your fated birth, you’re going to be told to go to the hospital. And you want to tune into the meditative energies inside of you, and that’s going to take some women more time than others to start this journey of learning how to meditate with the energies. And there are many. There are many angels. There are many energies, there are many spirit guides, many totems, many frequencies all around.
[28:17] Rachel: So what about for someone, if someone who’s listening right now maybe is pregnant and is in that space of in between? You know, maybe not feeling total trust to stay at home, but also not wanting-
Ashley: Yeah, but maybe wants to stay at home but doesn’t … Yeah. Definitely desire is a key … let’s talk about Desire for one second. I’ve spent most of my life going against my desire. For whatever reason I feel we have been kind of brainwashed or trained. As society at large, we are shamed for pleasure, a little bit. So, I’ve learned that the desire is the actual thing that is the confirmation that you’re going to get it in this life. Whatever it is you’re wanting. And it’s as simple as that.
Rachel: So the fact that you desire it means that it’s on the way?
Rachel: What about-
Ashley: You can get in your own way and you can slow it down, or you can open up to Source and speed up the process. But I truly believe that what we want is coming. What’s meant for you can’t miss. Yeah.
Rachel: I mean … I’m not entirely 100% convinced. But I also feel like there’s different levels of desire. There’s desire that arise from this idea of our … maybe it comes from the mind, maybe it comes from a wound, it comes from something, like, if I need to be the most successful person in the world, prove something. But then the actual desire is maybe to be accepted?
Ashley: I would call that an entity. I would say that’s something inside of you that is … You know, you maybe have created a pattern within you that, the thought, maybe it stemmed from childhood, or how you were treated as a child. You might have an unconscious passageway. We all do. We all have unconsciousness that is radiating out, creating for us, as well as consciousness. So, it’s about tuning into your consciousness and knowing that you actually are definitely … partly directing what’s happening in this life, but it’s also mixed with what you’ve already created, for lifetimes. So where you’ve been has created energy in motion, and it’s happening now. We’re remembering. So, bad stuff is going to happen, but it’s all good because it makes us stronger! Which is what we actually wanted to come here for. We want to wake up. We want to get out of this kind of sleepy, complacent vibration, which for lifetimes all of us have been in. It’s been 2,000 years of patriarchal conditioning. We’re stepping into the Age of Aquarius now, which is going to take several hundred years for the old to collapse and the new to be created, but it’s definitely happening, whether you are conscious of it or not. We are awakening, truly.
Rachel: We are awakening. I mean, you can see that everywhere. Things are changing, old structures are falling.
Ashley: Right. And it’s slow, but it’s happening. So, same thing with what you desire, it’s coming. It is. It’s just not coming as fast as we want. And we’re tweaking out our insides with fastness, which dulls our senses. So it really is the practice of slowing down, slowing down, accepting what is, breathing through the challenges. And it’s all coming in the time that it’s meant to come. All of it.
Rachel: Patience is not my strongest side.
Ashley: Yeah, me either.
[31:39] Rachel: I know, for anything. But, I mean I had … the last episode of the podcast, no maybe two episodes ago, I spoke about manifestation. I had this trippy moment of coming here, we’re staying in this crazy, crazy place. And when I lived here, you know, I was living in a shack, I had absolutely no money. Then I thought about it, I was like, “I never desired that then.” I had no desire, none at all for any type of financial means or to become wealthy or to have a career or to succeed. I just wanted to chill on the beach and meditate and do yoga, and that was it.
Ashley: I asked you, I go, “How did you do this?” And you go, “I just wrote in my journal, like, ‘I want to be a well-known yoga teacher one time.” [laugh]
Rachel: I did! [laugh] I did. I shared that in the podcast. I wrote in my Notes App on my phone, yeah. I still have it. Like, 2011 or 2012 or something like that. I’m like, “I’ll be a successful yoga instructor.” And then I think because I didn’t have the attachment to it, like, it wasn’t … If I look back at the things that I manifested with ease, like the studio, or oneOeight, or our house. Things that I was like, “This would be great if we could create that.” The foundations, the organizations, like, “Okay.” And I just with ease, I would write about it, I would sit down, I would visualize it like, “Oh, yeah, and so it is.” And I would let that go, right? So I wouldn’t obsess about it. I wouldn’t freak out about the fact that it hadn’t happened yet. I wouldn’t obsess and cling to the idea, like, “It must happen or else.” You know? I would just kind of be really chill. It wasn’t like my life depended on those things coming together. And then they just easily came together. But I find that when I’m in a struggle, like this past year we’ve been struggling a bit with different things in the business, and it’s like, “Oh my god, we have to figure this piece out.” And then it’s like this attachment to the have to, and it slows it down and makes it really hard, and that energy just keeps it from happening. And then I let go and like, “Actually, it’s not so important.” And then it just fixes it self.
Ashley: And it fixes itself, yeah. And I truly believe a lot of it’s written in the stars, and it’s our struggle towards it. It’s happening anyways. How can we surrender and just relax? And what you want is actually going to come true. It might not happen the first time or the second, and it does trial and error, and we learn each time. But if you don’t get what you’re wanting, you get what you wanted on a soul level.
[33:52] Rachel: What about people who are, like, in a shitty place. We’ve spoken also on this show a lot about privilege and white privilege and being born in this color skin and going to a … I had a good upbringing and had a good school, and of course it’s … we all are born with different prerequisites and different-
Ashley: I mean, I’m a white person and grew up in a nice neighborhood, and I became a prostitute. So, blows that theory.
Rachel: Yeah, but I mean … Do you think for anyone it’s true that everything we desire, or for some people … why is it kind of easier for some people than others?
Ashley: I don’t think that it comes easier. I think that people aren’t awake yet. Their consciousness isn’t awake yet. They don’t know their infinite light. They don’t know their infinite love and light, awakened to create. And it does take a lot of learning, in my experience, to understand that.
Rachel: And what about, you know, actual suppression and big pieces of population that just never were-
Ashley: Oh yeah, of course. That’s definitely happening. That’s the patriarchy we’re talking about that needs to get taken out. They are suppressing the people. I mean, go to any gas station. Why is this available to eat? What is this? This isn’t food. This is chemicals! There’s nothing food-related in a gas station for sale. Why are there so many places to buy toxic shit that’s killing people? How come the animals are treated like garbage? How come the elderly are treated like garbage? How come big pharma is so intensely running the world and killing people? Why are we injecting toxins into children? Why … you know, the list goes on and on. That’s what’s coming to a close. So, that’s been 2,000 years of that, of the unconsciousness. And now we’re entering in the Age of Aquarius. And like I said, it’s going to take a couple hundred years. It’s not … going to crumble in a neat little bow. And we don’t know. We don’t know what’s coming! And my actual new babies, the twins, are here to actually communicate it. In their astrological chart, it shows that they’re here to do things in a new way, BIG. And to talk about it. So in their first transits when they’re three, let’s come back when they’re three and see what they say.
[36:16] Rachel: So let’s go back to Bhavani’s birth.
Ashley: Yeah, so Bhavani’s birth was epic and galactivated, and it just was so powerful and so amazing. It powered me, and then I had tandem nursing a one-and-a-half-year-old and a newborn. I put my older daughter back on the boob. I had weaned her during the pregnancy, put her back on the boob and had two babies. And this was my first experience with Irish twins. And fast forward, you know, this past year, I am starting to get enormous when I’m pregnant, and everyone’s saying it’s twins. “It’s twins, look, it’s twins!” And I just was irritated with that, because I think I’m over people commenting on pregnant women.
Rachel: At all.
Ashley: At all! It’s just like think of something else to say. Or how can I empower you to think of something else to say? Because I don’t want to be mean and be like … but at the same time we need to wake up. So, how can we … There’s the tip. Just get, any pregnant woman you see, instead of asking her how she is, just get her a glass of water. [laugh]
Ashley: “Here.” Or, you know, get her some water, or you could give her some money. Because usually pregnant women need money and water. This is my tip. [laugh]
Rachel: Next time you see a pregnant woman, give her some water and some money, yeah. [laugh]
Ashley: She probably doesn’t want to talk! And she probably doesn’t want to talk about the same questions that are asked to her over and over. So, I started really going inward in this pregnancy again. But I felt really called to deliver my own babies from the start. There was no question that it was what I wanted to do. My baby, I didn’t know it was two.
Rachel: Baby, yeah.
Ashley: And we went to the doctor, because for paperwork reasons, that was the main reason that I wanted to, you needed to document the pregnancy in a legal way. And, you know, I wasn’t planning an ultrasound, but I didn’t mind him listening to the heart or anything like that. The reason I go away from medical is because I feel that I am my own midwife, and I feel intelligent enough to listen to my body and understand. And I’m a deep meditator. I know how to meditate and I know how to heal my body, and so I have confidence that I will be able to hear any guidance saying, “You need help.” I’m not saying that every woman can do that. And that, to me, is where your yoga and your meditation and your connection to Spirit comes into play in your own birth. But, to trust that it is all going to work out, one way or another, and that birth is fated, and there is some karma there. It’s called the Limbic Code, and it’s a DNA thing. So, however your mother birthed you, there’s probably going to be a similar birth, at least one of your babies.
Rachel: Really? Hmm.
Ashley: Yeah, because it carries on. It’s generational.
[40:19] Rachel: I struggled with my mother during the pregnancy, because she had four births. She doesn’t remember any of them, because they were all so traumatic. I mean, she remembers, like, fragments of it. But she wasn’t in control, wasn’t even present for many of them. And she was so freaked out by the idea of me birthing at home. Actually, by the idea of me birthing at all. [laugh]
Rachel: Everything was just so … I had to tell her, like, “Hey, we’re not going to talk about this birth. Don’t share any more stories about the hell that you went to and all of this stuff,” because it was just her fear kind of imprinting on me, and I’m like, I don’t need that, to envision how you birthed me, and it’s going to be that horrible for me. I want to have my own.
Ashley: Yeah. And they teach that that is how you heal the Limbic Code, is by trusting and believing and preparing in a new way. Preparing yourself, through your meditation and through your Pranayama and through your yoga practice, finding out what’s inside your body and learning how to listen to yourself. And it’s an empowerment process as well. And trusting your guides, your God, your Source, whatever you’d like to call the energy-
[41:29] Rachel: Yeah, but sometimes … and I feel like it’s … living here, I mean being in Costa Rica where we are right now, it’s more quiet here and also more alive. Like, it’s easier to sit down on the ground here.
Ashley: To meditate.
Rachel: Yeah. It’s like this instant drop.
Ashley: For sure, for sure, it definitely helps.
Rachel: Nature definitely helps. When you’re in a city, or you’re surrounded by all of this stuff and people stressing out and work and TV and all of this stuff just coming at you, it’s really hard to distinguish what’s your own inner voice, from what’s every other voice that’s coming my way.
Ashley: It’s very true, yeah. Yeah, self-care is one of the huge topics of how to relax and how to meditate. So, it’s going to be a different path for everyone. It is unfortunate if women are so … But I do believe it is possible. I actually do believe it is possible, because I have had some portals that were in this city and that were in a car or not in nature, and I was still able to connect to my Source. And the Source provides for you. If you trust, it gives back. Terrence McKenna, the teacher that teaches, you know, jump. You think it’s going to be a bed of nails, but it’s a bed of feathers. Spirit’s going to catch you. And it’s you. It’s all a absolutely divinely orchestrated plan. And that’s really what, I get the chills saying this because that’s really what I feel I am here to speak to the world about is the divinely orchestrated, angelic God consciousness. That we are all gods, and that we are creating it. But we’re also remembering. We’re also here to wake up and to learn. And so universe is going to serve us some opportunities for growth. It’s not just going to be butterflies and rainbows all of the time, because that’s not reality, and that’s not the reality for so many people. So to keep tuning into your lessons because as you awaken we can take the others with us, in consciousness.
Rachel: I got that card in our cacao ceremony yesterday. Actually, Lea Luna, she ran into the circle and she picked out a card and she’s like, “This is mine,” and then she pointed out a card and she said, “This is mama’s.” And she picked a card for me that was about unfinished business, and I knew exactly what it was. And her card was all about the divine signs and that all is love and light, and light, and light. But then when we were leaving I was like, “I want to pick my own card, that she doesn’t just choose for me,” and I got the This Is Fair card, which is all about the pendulum and how it swings, and how you’re going to have uncomfortable moments, and then you’re going to have moments that nourish you, and then it’s going to swing back into discomfort, and then back into nourishment, and that’s my … one of my biggest challenges really, really is … I get so comfortable when things are really comfortable that I don’t wanna … The transition from comfort to discomfort is really more painful than it has to be, for me. I make it into a big thing. Like, we get sick and I’m like, “Oh my god, the world is ending!”
Ashley: You have a moon in Leo.
Ashley: You’re here to do that, though. And I feel that. That’s like me with my strong fire personality. Someone has to hold that space sometimes. And sometimes it’s gotta be me. There’s this thing in astrology called Sabian symbols-
Rachel: What’s that?
Ashley: It’s a symbol for every single one of the signs. And so my sign, The Conductor, with his giant stick, that wraps his stick. “Attention, listen to me. Attention, attention.” So, that’s my personality. And so I work with that. I work with that. How can I bring that, like, “Listen, this is how it is,” but in a beautiful way? I’m trying to, and my moon in Cancer, I’ve got this soft, motherly moon. So that’s my big dance. And learning astrology can really help people understand a little bit more about why I am this way. And I think the moon in Leo is definitely … It’s the queen, literally. It’s the child, like the heart of the child, the innocent and the love and the play. And then sometimes the drama! But we need a little drama! It would be so boring without the Leos. Truly! My daughter has many planets in Leo, my oldest.
[45:45] Rachel: [laugh] Okay, so they’re in the pool right now playing with my little moon, all of them together. Okay, so you didn’t know you had twins, but then they listened to heartbeat and why wouldn’t they tell you there’s two heartbeats?
Ashley: There wasn’t, he only heard one.
Rachel: He only heard one.
Ashley: Yeah, and I truly believe that my … we go back to astrology, but my baby girl has several planets in Scorpio. They both do, because they’re born at the same time. But the Scorpio is like the hidden. It can be, like, a little bit more elusive, and I believe she was hiding.
Rachel: Don’t they have the same exact chart? How does it work with twins?
Ashley: Yeah, they do.
Ashley: Exactly the same chart, mmhm.
Rachel: Does that mean they’re going to grow up and be super similar always? What about twins that are totally opposite?
Ashley: I had one reading with the astrologer and he just said, “You know, you don’t exactly know which planets are going to shine more for one and which will shine more for the other.” But, like, they have Mars at 25 degrees Aquarius, which is the sign of the absolute rebel. Like revolutionary.
Ashley: So, Mars is a masculine planet, so we think that maybe he will be more revolutionary, and then they have several other planets in Scorpio. Maybe she will be more watery and psychic, and that’s kind of what I’ve been tuning into is that she’s more watery and psychic, and he’s more like-
Rachel: But is it common to go to doctor’s appointment and to be pregnant with twins and for them to not hear the heartbeat? I mean, is it the positioning of the babies, or …
Ashley: You know, I went to this doctor, like I said, for paperwork for the most part. So I wasn’t going to ask for his guidance. And that’s really a part of it, like, what are you showing up to the doctor for? Are you wanting the doctor to do all of the work for you? Do you want the doctor to deliver your baby for you? I don’t even know why the doctor is delivering the baby, in all truth, because in my experience birth is psychosomatic and quite sexual. That’s how the baby gets in, and then if you take the time in your pregnancy to understand your own energy and circle your hips and possibly, you know, touch your body to create good vibration within your body, this is kind of like a sexual energy. You’re not going to need someone else to enter that vortex with you. You’re going to be able to do that either by yourself or with your partner. So, in all truth, I do believe that there should be.
Rachel: But it’s not taught.
Ashley: No. And it’s not really that known. And it’s like, “How do I prove it other than …” I try to tell the midwives, like, “This is what has happened to me now twice,” and I know a lot of other women who also say this, but there’s a lot of midwives that are really not wanting us to share that, because they’ve had women who have had problems. But it’s just, it’s going to be different for everyone. The real truth is that you’re sovereign and that you get to listen, and I just want to empower women that are wanting to listen to themselves more to actually just do it. And even last night, when I was getting the tattoo, the shaman was telling me, “Keep relaxing. Keep relaxing, and don’t analyze everything that comes out of your mouth so much.” Because I don’t want to hurt people, and like I said, I’m pretty sharp. I can be … My mom used to call me the Prickly Pear. I’m a little bit blunt sometimes. So I’m really working on that. And Heather is telling me to not do that. She’s telling me to just be me, and ruffle those feathers. Pierce through. Just do it.
Rachel: So there’s a listening there, yeah.
Ashley: Yeah, there’s a listening there.
Rachel: For some people it’s like, “Oh, there’s there.” And for some people it’s like, “Ugh, that was loud.”
Ashley: Yeah, yeah. Or, “Ouch, that hurt.” Or, “Why is she so mean?” I’ve definitely been accused of being mean before. And it’s just so not true. I just am a little bit sharp. I’m the sharpest tool in the shed. [laugh] So, the doctor didn’t hear, but then we went back for another appointment in September, and he was like, “Uh, I want to look in there.” He was looking in my belly like, “I want to look in that thing. What the heck is in there?” And I just was like, “Okay.” But then I never went back, because I was so close.
Rachel: He wanted like an ultrasound?
Ashley: He wanted an ultrasound. That’s what he meant by look in there. And I just didn’t want to do that. I felt very strongly that that wasn’t my path this time, and I stayed home. And then I went into what they call prodromal labor, which I’ve never heard of before. Prodromal labor, it’s this crazy shit. You actually have contractions for like weeks or days. And the baby doesn’t come. You think … so many videos on YouTube, the girls are like, “I went to the hospital, they sent me home. It’s so upsetting, I thought I was going to have the baby.” So I didn’t have to deal with any of that going to the hospital crap, thinking I was having the baby because I was having it at home, but I just legitimately thought I was having a baby almost every day for 30 days.
Rachel: [laugh] Jesus Christ!
Ashley: It was unbelievable.
Rachel: And painful?
Ashley: The contractions, oh yeah, real ones! Like, belly contracting, like, sweat, like breathing, holding onto things, looking at Ian being like, “Is this it?” Just for thirty days. I kid you not. It was unbelievable, and really really hard. And I would wake up 15 times a night to go to the bathroom, and just couldn’t believe how heavy I was. I was in a fog. I didn’t understand why this was happening to me. I would say to the universe, “Really, why am I so big?!” It was so heavy and it was really weird. But I felt a deep assurance that it was all good. It was all good, it was going to be okay. This giant, 12-pound Avatar was going to come out in the pool. I legit thought that! I’m like, “It’s a healthy son! Our little warrior Viking.” Me and you were joking it’s a Viking. But then he was born and we were like, “He’s tiny!”
[51:17] Rachel: And how was that? Like, how was that?
Ashley: So, Ian went to the shed … Okay, so the day of the birth, October 6th, I am laying in bed for three hours, sweating and contracting, thinking nothing of it because it had been happening for thirty days. So I turn on a hypno birth meditation, and was going in and out of some sort of state, sweating. And this time and this day I felt possible hope that it could be the real birth, because it felt more period crampy than every other contraction I’d had. I was like, “Oh, this is kind of period crampy.” So I got up and did some hip circles and immediately was told by my intuition of, “That doesn’t feel right,” that I needed to relax and just be comfortable, that I wasn’t needing to circle my hips. So, I go back to the bed for a little bit longer and then I was like, “I need to take a bath. I’m just so uncomfortable. I’m just going to take a bath.” And Ian comes to the bathroom and I said, “You know, this could go on for another week, so go back to the shed, do your work.” He’s a wood worker. He went back to the shed, and then 20 minutes later he came back and I said, “You know, I don't know. I’m just uncomfortable. I think I want you to take a bath with me. I could just use the emotional support.” And he got in, and I started doing this weird hip swerving thing, circling thing. And then I, like, put my arms around him for a second. And then my kids got home, like, my friend Melissa came home with my kids, my older daughters, and brought them into the bathroom. Well, not quite. They didn’t come in until right after he came out. And then this part is really strange, I said … I told you this the other day. This is so weird. I literally said, I tilt my head down and I go, “The Ring of Fire!” It was this psycho, masculine voice. It felt like, I don't know. I said, “The Ring of Fire.” And then his head was birthed.
Ashley: Ian says he didn’t hear it. But I distinctively remember it. And also Ian said I screamed, and I don’t remember screaming. So those are two little moments, like, I don’t remember screaming, and I know I channeled some ancient, galactic man to like …
Rachel: [laugh] That’s so funny!
Ashley: Isn’t that crazy! It was crazy. It was crazy. And then he was born! And he came out just perfectly. And me and Ian looked at him and we’re like, “He’s tiny! He’s so small!” I was expecting an enormous dinosaur.
Rachel: How much did he weigh?
Ashley: He was seven pounds, which is huge for twins. He was 7.4 actually. But to me I was expecting, you know, Bhavani was a good daughter, again, 10 and a half pounds that I delivered alone. So I had already been through, you know, this with the birth. To me this was like, “Heh, yeah, I deliver my own babies.”
Rachel: He’s little, you’re like, “Umbilical cord, everything is fine.”
Ashley: Yeah, he did a little cry, everything was fine, and then three or four minutes went by and I think, “I think this is the placenta.” I’m getting ready for the placenta. And then I reach down, and literally two legs are dangling out.
Ashley: Two legs are dangling out of me, and I feel the legs and I feel it, I look at Ian and I go, “It’s legs.”
Ashley: Oh, I forgot to tell you the part where I had looked at Ian and I said, “He’s born. He’s coming out.” You know? And he was like, “What? It’s being born?” I said that too, right before he came out. Yeah, I was like, “He’s coming out,” and he was like, “What? I can’t believe this.” And then, it’s a boy. Oh my god, placenta. Legs. And I look at him and I go, “It’s legs, it’s a yoni, it’s a baby.” And then I got the download across my third eye, meaning I heard in my consciousness, “Get her out quick.” So I grabbed her with both hands around her torso, and I had a contraction, or the energy hit me, and I pushed, and I forcefully bared down a little bit and pulled with my hands, which a lot of midwives will tell you don’t pull a breached baby, the head can get stuck. Well, that might have happened to some woman at some point, but in this birth I was meant to pull, I was told to pull. My consciousness told me to do that. And I did it, and it worked. And she came out real quick. But she wasn’t breathing. And for one moment my hood rat self said, “Aw, is it going down like that today?” I literally wondered, in that moment, like is one baby dead? You know? Is this my fat? And I sucked out of her nose with my lips, and nothing came, there was no liquid. And I breathed into her mouth. And so at this point I forgot to share that Bhavani and Satya walked in the literal minute he was born. They had come home from a friend’s. And we had no idea when the baby was being born, we couldn’t plan. Otherwise I would have had them there, for sure, the whole thing. But they walked in the second he was born. But then my friend Melissa took the girls … by the way, she’s an amazing, amazing doula. Holy shit. Took the girls out into the yard for a little walk, and I called to her and I said, “Melissa, come. Come in.” And she saw the second baby and I said, “Can you help me get her breathing?” And she jumped in the tub and-
[56:49] Rachel: How much time had passed since she came out?
Ashley: Well, she was born five minutes after … three to five minutes, we don’t know exactly, after he was born. And it had probably been 30 seconds of no breathing. So she hops in and she immediately … She’s an RN. So she starts pumping the heart. And I say, “Be gentle!” Like, really sternly. And she goes, “There’s a pulse.” And then I breathed over the mouth one more time, and Melissa goes, “Over the nose and the mouth,” and so I moved my mouth over the nose and mouth, and it was a few of those breaths, and then she starts crying.
Rachel: Oh my god.
Ashley: And then it took like 30 more seconds for the big cry. She starts breathing, and then thirty more seconds for the big cry. And then all was well. And then we got out of the tub pretty soon after that, and back to tandem nursing. And I did not actually-
Rachel: Did you have any moment that was like a panicky moment?
Rachel: Just the way you told that story was like [heartbeat sounds].
Ashley: It was so fated. It was, like, I was like, “Be gentle!” Because I didn’t want her to crack open her rib cage, you know? I had asked Melissa two weeks before the birth, “If a baby wasn’t breathing, would you be able to resuscitate it?” And she was like, “I think so.” That was our only-
Rachel: You had a little …
Ashley: A teeny bit, but I mean it goes by … it was happening-
Rachel: But I mean like you had a little intuition that you would have had to …
Ashley: I guess. I didn’t have that consciously. But looking back, I said that. And that’s when I say everything is fated. This is also fated, to surrender. I’ve had multiple teachers in times of freedom just say, “Relax and surrender! The more you can let go, the better it’s going to get. Keep surrendering. Trust, trust, trust, trust, trust. And that’s been the wisdom of my life is to trust. So, yes, bad things can happen. But we’ve also heard the universe only gives you what you can handle and what is meant for you. What’s meant for you can’t miss. So, yeah, something bad could happen, but like rise up to the challenge. And I don’t mean that, “Risk your baby’s life.” Your intuition is going to tell you if you need a team of people to help you resuscitate your baby. And I fully believe that if you have your connection to Great Spirit on lock, as I would call it, which comes from your daily spiritual practice and your connection to Mother Earth.
[59:14] Rachel: This story is … Someone needs to make a little movie out of this whole experience. It’s unbelievable. “It’s legs.” Have you ever heard of anyone having this sort of birth experience before?
Ashley: You know, I was kind of into this-
Rachel: Surprise breech baby.
Ashley: I don't know about a surprise breech. But I did watch a YouTube video a long time ago, it’s in the Conscious Birth Circles, like a lot of the free birthing women, the women that want to take back birth on planet earth, that are no longer approving of the way that birth has become a systemic, you know, kind of crazy situation. Birth is, at this point, a crazy situation. In most countries. It’s not ideal, it’s not nurturing. We’re not treating the goddess as sacred and holy, and we need to change. But how to get there is going to be different paths, different paths. So, I like to tell every woman that they are surrendering and that it’s going to happen for them. They’re going to be provided for. No matter what it is, even if it’s a challenge. Just like my first birth, with ripping open my yoni and having a hospital birth even though I wanted a home birth, and hobbling out of there with blood dripping down my leg, like it kind of was gnarly, my first birth … that it’s fated and that it’s okay. That everything’s okay, and everything is happening for a reason. And I think I might have got sidetracked there a little bit, but-
[60:45] Rachel: No, this story is- … Of course, of all people this happens to you.
Ashley: Oh, I was shocked. I really, really was.
Rachel: Because Dennis and I were like … I was giving him little updates. He’s like, “Is she popped yet? Did she have that boy yet?”
Ashley: Is that giant building burst?
Rachel: I was like, “Guess what happened!”
Ashley: And looking back it’s like, “Duh, I should have known.” But I wasn’t supposed to know, because maybe if I would have known I would have been scared. “I’m going to deliver my own twins.” In Costa Rica they’ll Cesarean you for twins and especially breech. Oh yeah, it was the video. There was a video that I watched. Looking back, wow, why was I interested in watching this woman birth her breeched twins in her bathroom ten years ago? That fascinated me. I thought, “Yeah, damn, she …” I thought, “Wouldn’t you just pull it out? Grab a foot and pull it out.” That to me makes sense. There’s a lot of women that say, “Don’t teach that, because the head can get locked.” But I think the head can … but it also can’t. And I’m the proof that it can’t, because I pulled this baby out. That woman pulled her baby out. You know, so it’s not the same for every birth. We need the med-wives, we’re calling them these days, the ones that are extremely-
Rachel: The med-wives.
Ashley: We’re calling them med-wives, because they’re so programmed by the medical. And it’s not their fault. They have to go through these rigorous medical trainings in order to get the license to become a midwife, and that’s the whole reason why they make them go through that process.
[62:08] Rachel: I just found out one of the girls that work at the studio, she’s pregnant right now, and I recommended the little midwife center that I went to, because they were all … one of two on the whole island that are pro-home birth, and she went there, and they’re not anymore. So in the two years since I had the baby, they have decided that they’re not in support of home birth anymore. So now I actually, I don't know even in Aruba where to send someone.
Ashley: And I think that the whole focus on home birth is kind of played out. I’m just like … it doesn’t matter where. It matters is the woman taken care of? Is she empowered? Is she being treated like a sacred, sovereign, holy goddess during this powerful initiation? Because it is. It’s a shamanic initiation when you have a baby. It’s a rite of passage. So how can we create settings that are safe and nurturing, or we have options and choices?
Rachel: Yeah. And if it’s at the hospital, can we create that there?
Ashley: Yeah, or how about it not be at a hospital, but at a beautiful hotel, where there’s on call doctors.
Rachel: Yeah, or birthing centers where it’s different.
Ashley: Right. And in China, or in some countries in Asia, they literally go to this hotel after they have their baby, for like two months, or a month or two. And they get waited on hand and foot. That’s the norm. Or like where you’re from, people to get time off when they have a baby. Whoa! Imagine! To be able to-
Rachel: A lot of time, yeah.
Ashley: Imagine, to get to nurture yourself. Women in America do not have that. It’s like six weeks, back to work. Which is really sad. I would not want to leave my baby after six weeks. And I feel if a woman doesn’t want to leave her baby but has to, or she has to give up her bread and butter, that’s abusive. We need to give the goddess more time to heal. So then we did the cord burning ceremony, which I am also putting into this podcast, because it was really rad. I had never done anything like that. I cut the cord with Bhavani.
Rachel: So, two placentas?
Ashley: One placenta, fused into a heart-shape.
Rachel: Oh yeah, I remember you sharing that.
Ashley: She was 6.9 and he was 7.4, so that’s actually huge for twins, apparently. I didn’t know anything about twins before this, but everyone’s like, “Oh my god, that’s enormous!” And we did the cord burning, which is really an ancient ceremony where you literally light the cord on fire instead of cut.
Rachel: And what happens to the cord? How does it …
Ashley: It kind of smells a little bit like barbeque?
Ashley: Ours actually popped. And it scared us. It was great. I don’t think that’s normal, that was really weird but … And that was a little stressful, that moment. Looking back, I wish I could have been more comfortable physically. I was kind of perched on the bed in a weird way still. We just didn’t get me comfortable in the bed right after the birth, and I honestly felt like I got hit by a truck for several weeks after. Like, “Damn, twins, that was hard.” [laugh]
Ashley: That was hard, whoa!
Rachel: And then you’re nursing two at the same time.
Ashley: But I did the yoni steaming. That was so good. I highly, highly recommend yoni steaming. There’s a woman called the Steamy Chick who sells it, like, ready to go.
Rachel: It’s like a little stool you sit on or you hover above?
Ashley: You can, or you make your own, but it’s the herbs. The herbs in the package that are ready to steam, she has … or anyone can source them however they want. Locally or at a co-op or something.
Rachel: You were talking about that in the middle of the class the other day, do you remember?
Ashley: So important. Yoni steaming. It’s just women have issues with our wounds, bladder infections or yeast infections or any of the women’s issues, yoni steaming clears up. Thyroid tumors, cancers of the womb and the uterus, definitely need to steam the yoni, because it takes out the toxins. It removes old, dead energy and makes it fresh.
Rachel: Fresh yoni is very important, yeah. [laugh]
Ashley: We need a fresh yoni. No, people actually say they have the best love making of their life after they’ve started yoni steaming. So, go to steamychick.com if you’re interested in learning about yoni steaming, because she has a lot of amazing information. But that really sped my healing. I healed so much faster from the twins’ birth than I did from Bhavani’s birth. And I didn’t know about yoni steaming six years ago.
Rachel: And that was two babies instead of one.
Ashley: Yeah, yeah. And I really healed quickly. I feel … I’m still healing a little bit, but it’s definitely … It took me two years to heal after Satya opened me up and I ripped open. I had an injury in my right inner thigh for two years. After this birth, super fast healing. So, I’m still healing, but it’s almost done, and wow. So yeah, epic birth.
Rachel: Epic birth, epic story. Thank you for sharing this with us. I feel like this is going to open so many women’s eyes, like absolutely. You’re an inspiration to all of us. Do you have any final little medicine you want to share with the world?
[67:16] Ashley: God is love. Trust your breath. Breath is the healing elixir for all. For the mind, for the body, and the spirit. Your breath coming in is what can heal you and help you and help awaken you. And help you on your path. It can give you the next step, your breath. And that I love you and I’m so grateful, and I so believe in you as a healer and as a leader, you’re a huge huge piece of the puzzle for all of us, and I’m so grateful to be in your company in any way, and just … I love you so, so much.
Rachel: Thank you. One day I’m going to move you over to Aruba.
Rachel: Everybody listening, if you want to follow along on Ashley’s journey and listen to more of this wisdom, you can follow her on Instagram. Her school is Infinite Source Yoga, or her personal Instagram is OGYogini.
Ashley: Thanks Rach.
Rachel: Thank you for listening. Thank you everyone, see you next week.
[End of Episode]
Self-Love, Fear of Dying, Rose Quartz Spheres and a Crappy Day
Nov 3, 2017 - In this episode Rachel gets real and emotional about her hardships in the midst of a particularly crappy day. She talks about her contrasting struggle with low self esteem and the huge fear she carries around the wellbeing of her daughter while simultaneously feeling content and happy in leading her first teacher training.
Oct 17, 2019 - Today’s gratitude practice will leave you with a vibration felt through your entire body. Sit in stillness, close your eyes and repeat to yourself the holiest of all of our mantras: thank you, thank you, thank you. With every inhale, say thank you. With every exhale, say thank you. Feel the power that lies behind those words. Find the gratitude that exists in every fiber of your being.
Nov 15, 2019 - Are you carrying around pain, exhaustion, or moving through life from a wounded place? Soldering on without giving yourself permission to feel? In this episode, Rachel speaks about how minimizing our pain actually creates more of it, and how holding space to feel and heal wounds (large and small!) actually can expand your capacity for compassion and service.